blogombal Chapter 284 Love in this life-----4
Chapter 284 Love in this life-----4
Zhang Qinghua sat back on the bed with a gentle and calm expression. She stroked her belly and said, "Xiuxiu, your brother and I have made an agreement. If you don't dislike it, I will give birth to this child for you to raise!"
Xiuxiu's eyes immediately turned red, and she was a little frustrated: "I don't want to raise one! I can raise Chang'an alone, that's enough! Pingping and Chenchen are enough! You gave birth to the child by yourself, and raised it by yourself..."
Zhang Qinghua stretched out his hand to hold her, and his eyes became firm: "Xiu Xiu! I am only telling you this, please listen carefully!"
Xiuxiu's tears welled up in her eyes and she moved forward.
Qinghua said: "If it weren't for you, I would have died long ago. I died in the spring of 79. Although I didn't die, my heart was already dead! I just couldn't bear to leave you, and I couldn't bear to leave Chang'an. Later, I couldn't bear to leave your brother. With Pingping and Chenchen, I can’t let go..."
Xiuxiu grabbed her sister's hand, sobbed, and got angry: "Since you can't let go, why did you lie to my brother? Why did you lie to him that you were pregnant with the third child? Why didn't you tell him that you were pregnant? Why did we even look at it and couldn't save you? …”
"Xiu Xiu! I don't want to live anymore! A person who doesn't want to live can do anything!" When Zhang Qinghua said this, her expression was so calm that it scared Xiu Xiu.
Xiuxiu cried: "Why don't you want to live anymore! Why don't you want to live if you are living well!"
"My health has long since failed, Xiu Xiu!" Zhang Qinghua's tone was calm, filled with resentment and regret:
"My body was abused long ago when I was at Wang Shuan's house. If it weren't for Xiaosheng who was willing to love me, if it wasn't for you who have always loved me, I would have died long ago. I died every year after 79. inside!"
It turns out the trauma was always there! It turns out that Sister Huahua has always hated her!
Xiuxiu couldn't help but knelt down and cried in front of her bed. She didn't really save Sister Huahua, she just saved a body. Zhang Qinghua's soul had never been truly saved.
Zhang Qinghua stroked the top of Xiuxiu's hair: "Don't cry! Over the years, I first followed you to make clothes, then managed a factory, then had children, and lived in a building. Every step forward, I feel sorry for myself Say you have lived enough in this life!”
"I originally couldn't let go of your brother, but since last year my physical condition has deteriorated greatly, and I look old and embarrassed. Every time I look in the mirror, I hate myself. Those things in the past will pop up to torture me... …”
"I secretly came to the hospital for a check-up. The doctor said that my condition was very dangerous. I know that if my body continues like this, I will need other people to take care of me and cause trouble to others. I can no longer bring any good help to your brother. If it comes to At that time, my existence will only be an ugly burden..."
"You still have me..." Xiuxiu knelt in front of the bed and put her sister's hand on her face: "I will take care of you and your children. What are you afraid of? What are you afraid of?"
"But I will hate myself!" Qinghua said tremblingly: "I would rather die than become an ugly burden! Once I become ugly and incompetent, the past things will be tortured in my mind all the time. I……"
"Those regrets that cannot be undone and made up for have a stench in my soul that makes me suffocate. Even if you take care of me, I will not be able to bear the torture. I will find a sunless day and jump off the building by myself." Go down..."
Xiuxiu's heart was broken when she heard this. She beat her heart and cried: "It's my fault...Sister Huahua...it's all my fault...it's all my fault..."
"Xiuxiu! Don't be like this! I'm not afraid of death, I'm just afraid of you like this..." Qinghua stood up and tried to pull Xiuxiu up, but she was so weak that she had no strength at all.
Xiuxiu howled, not wanting to agitate her sister, so she got up and sat on the edge of the bed.
Qinghua took her hand: "I hate that I have reached my limit, Xiuxiu. Everyday life is very painful for me! Those things in the past are over for you, but to me, they are like a sword." , insert it here forever, if you move it, I will be so painful that I want to die!"
Xiuxiu sobbed: "Sister! It's okay if you don't love us, but you love my brother and those two children. If you are gone, who will take care of them? How sad they will be if you are gone. How sad will you make them?" How will they survive in the future!"
"I have loved all of you with all my heart!" Zhang Qinghua said in a feeble tone, with a firm and calm attitude:
"If my physical condition allows, as long as I can still be useful to you, I will continue to love you, but I will soon become a useless person, a person who even hates myself, and those past things will continue Torture me, I don’t want to live like that..."
Xiuxiu threw herself into Qinghua's arms and cried: "You are not sick, your body is not sick, you are mentally ill. Sister, I'm sorry for you. I cared too little about you. I didn't realize that you were already so sick in your heart." serious……"
Qinghua stroked Xiuxiu's hair: "Xiuxiu, you are my savior and gave me another ten years. I have lived a very fulfilling and wonderful life in these ten years. If it weren't for you, my life would only have regrets and sorrow." Hate, now I have contributed a lot of value and still have beautiful memories..."
"It's not beautiful, not beautiful at all!" Xiuxiu interrupted her: "If you leave like this, we will all hate ourselves and hate ourselves for not taking good care of you..."
"Xiuxiu, I have experienced the death of my mother and the death of my father. I know that feeling. Time will heal sadness, and it will eventually turn into longing. Those who are alive will still live well. Just live well for me. Look. The future world..."
"I don't want it. I will take good care of you this time and won't let you die..."
Qinghua pushed Xiuxiu away from her arms, caressed her belly, and said with a smile in her eyes: "Xiuxiu, when this child is born, whether I live or die, he will be your child!"
"If I live, don't bring him over. I won't look at him. He is your child. If I die, just let me go well. I am very happy. Don't send me away crying... "
"I don't want it!" Xiuxiu cried until her eyes were blurry. She shook her head vigorously: "I don't want it! You are too cruel, Sister Huahua, you are too cruel, I don't want it..."
Qinghua raised her hand to wipe away her tears: "Live to die, Xiuxiu! This is what you told me! I especially like these four words now. I made this choice not to commit suicide, but to survive. Let's just Just wait and let nature take its course, okay?"
But how could Xiuxiu's tears be stopped?
"Are you punishing me?" Xiuxiu cried and complained: "Sister Huahua, you are too cruel to me. I don't agree. You are just sick in your heart, not in your body. I will take good care of you after this child is born. "
Zhang Qinghua sighed and hugged Xiuxiu into his arms: "Okay! If I'm not dead, you should take good care of me. If I am bound to die, you should talk to me and send me off nicely. Don't cry like this... …”
"You won't die. I will definitely take good care of you. You won't die..."
When Xiuxiu opened the door and came out, there was nothing in her mind except two points of view:
One is that the child must wait for a natural delivery so that the doctor can confidently treat Sister Huahua’s weak body.
The second is that Sister Huahua has a psychological problem. Past traumas are deeply ingrained in her heart. She is either suffering from the sequelae of traumatic stress or depression.
In short, my sister has a psychological problem, not a physical problem. She should pay more attention to her sister in the future and help her with psychological treatment.
Sister Huahua will get better, she will not die. If she dies, Xiuxiu will hate herself and hate herself for dragging down her dearest sister to death!
Zhang Jiancheng stood outside the ward and saw Xiuxiu standing blankly at the door, her eyes swollen and sluggish. When he reached out to close the ward door behind her, Xiuxiu's eyes turned black and she fainted in his arms...