blogombal Page 133
Page 133
"Everyone, please pay attention."
Everyone's attention was drawn to Jimmy on stage.
"Thank you all for attending the welcome banquet for Mr. Jiang Tianyang, the new leader of Hongxing."
"My eldest brother, Donghuang, said that we should have a great time today, nothing too mundane will do. Let's all play a game together, there are prizes!"
"Everyone can come up on stage and perform their talents. There are no restrictions on what you perform, you can do anything. Everyone in the audience is a judge. If you think someone's performance is good, you can vote for them. If you don't like it, you can't vote."
Originally, no one was interested in what this little black guy had to say. What was he? Performing a show? Perform your ass! What do you think Donghuang is?
But what they said next made them excited.
Jimmy delivered a moving and expressive performance on stage.
"Here's the important part: the prizes for winning are... First place: 500,000; second place: 300,000; third place: 100,000; fourth through tenth place: 10,000 each."
Upon hearing that there was real money to be made, the men below became incredibly excited, as if they'd been injected with adrenaline. One of the thugs shouted out, "..."
"Are they really going to pay you? You'll do anything, any performance?"
"Of course it's true. With so many big shots around, would they lie to a short mule like you?"
The thug wasn't angry.
"How about I demonstrate push-ups? I can do 22 in one go?"
A thug next to him interrupted him.
"Go to hell, stop embarrassing yourself. I can do 25 in one go and I'm not as confident as you."
Jimmy on stage said:
"Everyone, please be quiet. Anyone can come on stage and perform any talent today, as long as you don't feel ashamed. You can even go on stage to take a dump!"
"Hahaha!"
Laughter erupted everywhere.
One of his underlings ran onto the stage: "Hello everyone, I am Wang Youcai from the Number Gang, nicknamed Egg Roll Cai. Actually, my dream is to become a singer."
“My family was very poor when I was young. To pursue my dream, I dropped out of school to work. Later, I joined the Number Gang. But I never forgot my dream. When I was killing people, I didn’t forget to practice dancing. When I was collecting debts, I didn’t forget to write lyrics and compose music based on the debtors’ experiences. I even used bel canto to strain when I had constipation.”
"I have never forgotten my ideals!"
As Wang Youcai spoke, his eyes reddened.
Wang Tai, sitting in the audience, nodded. "This is a promising talent."
"Shut the hell up!"
"If you're not going to sing, then get out. Let someone who wants to sing go up."
"If you don't sing, I'll kill you."
"..."
Clearly, people weren't buying Wang Youcai's attempt to play the victim.
Wang Youcai took a deep breath.
"Next, I will use my unique circular breathing method to perform a song called 'Flower in the Water' for you."
Wang Youcai picked up the microphone and started singing. He stunned everyone the moment he opened his mouth. Not only was his tune off-key, but his mouth sounded like his lease was about to expire.
He sang the song, from the beginning "only in a daze of intoxication" to the last line "as if it were me," a total of over a hundred words, in just three seconds, maybe even less. And the key is that he also had a tune.
The crowd below erupted in laughter, some even shouting.
"Dude, give up your ideals and just stick to this promising career."
"Brother, putting everything else aside, you've got a good tongue. Come with me to Portland Street, I'll train you to be the king of gigolos."
"Brother, who are you?"
"Portland Street, Da Dong."
Amidst laughter and curses, Wang Youcai stepped off the stage in tears, but he did not seem to have given up on his ideals.
Then another person went on stage and addressed the audience:
"I am Fat Dog from Tung Sing, and my older brother is Situ Haonan. I have had a superpower since I was a child! I can play music with my farts. I'm happy today, so I'll show you. I hope you won't make this secret known to everyone. I don't want to be captured and experimented on."
"I'd like to dedicate a song, 'Für Elise,' to everyone."
As he spoke, the fat dog pointed the microphone at his chrysanthemum.
"Puff puff! Puff puff! Puff puff puff puff puff~"
Some people followed the sound of farting, matching it to the rhythm of "Für Elise".
"Puff puff puff puff... puff la la..."
The fat dog lost control and pooped.
"I'm sorry everyone, but due to health reasons, you won't be able to enjoy the full music. Next time, I..."
"Stop talking, you son of a bitch, and go to the bathroom right now."
"Damn it, I still have half a bowl of shark fin soup left to eat."
"go to hell."
This time, the fat dog was chased off the stage, and someone even threw shoes at him.
Situ Haonan, sitting at the main table, tried to hide his embarrassment by lighting a cigarette, but his trembling hands betrayed him; Fatty Dog was probably going to get a severe beating.
The following performances were even more varied, but they were all performed by the underlings on site. Those with any status did not go on stage, not because they looked down on the huge sum of money, but perhaps because they couldn't bring themselves to do it.
"I come!"
Finally, a leader of the hall level stepped onto the stage.
It's Dafei.
……
Chapter 140: Each Has His Own Agenda
After Dafei went on stage, he held the microphone to his mouth and pointed at the audience below the stage, like a rapper.
"Hello everyone, no need for introduction, you should all know me, that's right! I am Hongxing Dafei."
Dafei tossed his long hair.
"To be honest, the previous performances were too bland. Only the guy who farted was somewhat interesting, but that was all. Today, I, Dafei, will show you real superpowers."
Dafei tossed the microphone to Jimmy, who was acting as the host, but Jimmy didn't catch it, or rather, Jimmy didn't even move it.
"how?"
Dafei looked at Jimmy, who was staring at him hesitantly, and whose skills were not very good, not even able to catch a microphone, and asked.
Jimmy shook his head.
"Please begin your performance."
"cut!"
Jimmy took out his handkerchief, picked up the microphone, and put it aside. He still didn't tell Dafei that the microphone had been hit by the fart of the fat dog he admired, and there might still be feces on it.
Dafei closed his eyes, drew a Tai Chi symbol in the air with his hands, then clenched his fists at his waist and remained motionless.
One minute…
Two minutes…
three minutes…
Is this some kind of performance where someone sleeps standing up?
This is the leader of the gang. The underlings didn't dare to curse him; they just whispered among themselves.
Jimmy stepped in to defuse the situation.
"Alright, Dafei's performance was fantastic. It seems his superpower is turning into a horse, um, a sleeping horse..."
"coming!"
Dafei suddenly opened his eyes and shouted, startling Jimmy so much that the microphone almost hit Dafei on the head.
What's coming? The audience's eyes immediately focused on Dafei.
Dafei's body suddenly straightened, he stood on tiptoe, gripped the ground with his toes, and straightened his waist.
"Oh~~~"
Dafei let out a seductive sound, which was utterly disgusting.
Everyone fell silent. That familiar voice, that familiar movement, any man would recognize it. But a normal person would be lying down or sitting, Dafei wouldn't be like that!
"Dafei, what...what have you done!"
Jimmy pulled his lips away and held the microphone to Dafei's mouth, the gesture like a child setting off firecrackers during Chinese New Year, extending his arm but keeping his body far away.