Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 14

Zhang Chu: [Based on acidity measurements, unconsciousness would occur within 0.1 seconds.]

Gu Qian: [I'm ready for treatment.]

"Just one lick..."

Ying cautiously extended the tip of her pink tongue.

"呲呲-"

Time seemed to freeze at this moment.

Paimon watched in horror as his companion suddenly convulsed, his face contorting into a chrysanthemum shape as if being kneaded by an invisible hand.

Ying's pupils trembled violently, and she uttered an unintelligible gasp from her throat: "/@∽%#$?*"

The blonde girl fell straight to the ground, her fingers still stiff in a claw-like shape.

Paimon was so anxious he kept pacing around in circles.

"Please help her!"

Er Kang coughed twice: "Um... Little Paimon, don't be afraid no matter what you see later."

"What could be more terrifying than Ying fainting right now?!"

Zhang Chu adjusted his mask: "Gu Qian, administer the ultimate treatment."

Gu Qian responded in a gruff voice, pulling out—

"wait wait wait!"

Paimon's voice suddenly rose eight octaves.

"This syringe is bigger than a fluorescent tube!!"

The seven-meter-tall Thunder King held a giant syringe with a gleaming needle and a label that read "Acidosis Special Drug - For Buttocks Only".

Qingyu thoughtfully helped Ying turn over and lifted her skirt in the process.

"No, no!"

Paimon's scream echoed through the sky.

"This is murder!!"

The three-inch-long needle pierced the target area without any obstruction.

"Ah ah ah ah ah--!!!"

Ying's screams instantly ignited the entire Mondstadt:

Pigeons on the bridge took flight in unison

The angel's gift barrels exploded all at once.

Diluc, who was taking a nap, rolled off the sofa.

A crack appeared in the palm of the wind god statue.

Upon seeing this, the Knights of Favonius who were rushing from afar turned around and left in unison, saying, "Excuse me..."

Chapter 15 Repairing the Gate

West Wind Church Medical Room - Double Room

Ying lay alone on the hospital bed, her buttocks wrapped in thick bandages, radiating an aura of utter despair.

"I shouldn't have trusted those four scumbags..."

She buried her face in the pillow in grief and anger.

"Ying! I've come to see you!"

"boom--!"

Erkang kicked open the door, sending the wooden door flying out and smashing into the opposite wall, breaking into three pieces.

He walked in carrying a fruit basket, beaming with a smile: "How are you? Feeling better?"

Ying stared at the "corpse" on the ground, her lips twitching: "...There weren't any Sunset Fruits in here, were there?"

"Don't worry, absolutely not!"

Erkang placed the fruit basket on the table, and the most conspicuous item inside was—

Three mangoes that look like sunset fruit.

fluorescent:"……"

(This crisis of trust is insurmountable)

"But why did you kick the door?"

"I'm not going to pay this money for you."

"Hey, no big deal!"

Er Kang pulled out a toolbox from somewhere.

"I'm a professional!"

For the next ten minutes, the ward was filled with the sounds of construction work, "clanging and banging".

When the smoke clears—

A brand new metal door stands on the door frame.

Er Kang stroked his chin, staring at the metal door he had just installed, lost in thought.

The door panel is adorned with high-tech LED light strips, and a sticker that reads "Please unlock with a smile" is placed next to the fingerprint recognition area.

"What's wrong, Erkang?"

Ying struggled to sit up.

"That...the door is installed..."

Er Kang scratched his head awkwardly.

"It's installed backwards..."

Ying stared wide-eyed, and saw:

Door handles are installed on the inside of the ward.

Cat's eye looking towards the ward

The most outrageous thing is that the keyhole is facing inwards.

Ying's voice suddenly rose eight octaves.

"Where would Mondstadt have a locked door?! And why is the keyhole inside?!"

Er Kang patted the door panel proudly: "This is my specially made smart security door!"

As he spoke, he pressed the red button next to the door, and the door panel suddenly popped open:

Holographic projection keyboard

There's even a small cocktail shaker (?).

"Let's not talk about that now!"

Ying pointed frantically at the window.

How are we supposed to get out?!

Er Kang typed a string of code on the projected keyboard.

"This is a voice-activated combination lock!"

The next second, deafening background music suddenly filled the entire ward. Er Kang started rapping to the rhythm:

“Oshiba Kasikrou~da 8484848~da 84848~hehe 8484848~”

(Interspersed throughout: "Incorrect password, please try again")

After three attempts, accompanied by the "Ding-dong~ Welcome home, Master" notification sound, the door finally opened slowly.

Ying: "...I think I'll jump out the window."

"What do you mean by jumping out of a window?"

Zhang Chu's voice suddenly came from the corridor.

He was holding a piece of paper and carrying a fruit basket, walking slowly towards us.

"Wait! Don't come any closer!"

Er Kang's expression suddenly changed drastically.

"This door will simultaneously alter the terrain within a three-meter radius!"

The floor beneath Zhang Chu's feet suddenly turned into a trapdoor, and he fell straight down while still in the position of pushing the mask.

The information pages fluttered in the air, and the last one to float down was a piece of parchment with the words "173 Reasons for Erkang's Prohibition of Contact with Machinery" written on it.

A heavy thud came from downstairs, followed by Gu Qian's puzzled voice: "Zhang Chu fell from the sky?"

"Ying, I'm here to be your fellow patient."

Er Kang lay on the next hospital bed, one arm and one leg in thick casts, and several bandages on his mask, but his expression inexplicably carried a hint of smugness.

fluorescent:"……"

She would never forget that shocking scene—

Zhang Chu carried the Fool's Thunder Hammer, his body emanating black smoke, and the ground trembled with every step he took.

"80!!!"

With a single blow, Er Kang flew out like a cannonball, tracing a graceful arc in the air before crashing through three walls of the Knights of Favonius training ground with a deafening roar.

"80!!!"

The second blow sent Er Kang spiraling upwards, smashing a perfect human-shaped hole in the church's stained glass.